>DNF In Memoriam / A Confession

>I have a confession to make, but before I do I would like to pour out a proverbial 40 on the grave of the apparently deceased Duke Nukem Forever, if this story and others are to be believed. There’s not much that can be said that hasn’t already been said about DNF – heavy anticipation gave way to disbelief, which turned into exasperation – and this was about 8 years ago; the jokes about the development time never stopped, and yet people still cared enough to make them. We all wanted DNF to come out, really, and to have it die at this stage in the development – when prominent industry-types had actually seen it in motion and proclaimed that it looked pretty cool – well, it’s hard not to be disappointed.

I can’t even really say anymore what I was expecting out of DNF, to be honest; the FPS genre has evolved so many times since it was first announced that it was bound to feel dated anyway. But feeling dated doesn’t necessarily mean that it wouldn’t still be fun; last year’s XBLA re-release of Duke Nukem 3D was still totally awesome and it was still possible to appreciate just how far ahead of its time that game really was.

Maybe it’ll get picked up by another publisher, and maybe it will actually see the light of day; in this economy, however, it’s hard to be optomistic about a publisher willing to take on even more development cost for a product this steeped in controversy. In any event, good luck and godspeed to the 3D Realms cast and crew.


I’m not even sure why I feel the need to confess that I purchased Wii Fit 2 weeks ago. The truth of the matter is that I’ve been feeling like a fat fuck lately, and I happened to be in a Gamestop that happened to have Wii Fit in stock, and as I was in a perfect storm of self-pity and desire for self-improvement due to a shocking, sudden death in the family, and since I had access to a car, and my wife wasn’t totally opposed to the idea, I decided to pull the trigger and go for it.

I’ve been using it for 2 weeks now; I’ve skipped a couple days due to hangovers. I do 20-30 minutes in the morning – yoga to start, some strength exercises to warm up, and then some aerobics to get the blood pumping. I’m not entirely sure I’m making any progress, though; everything is pretty low-impact. But at least it’s a start; I knew I was going to have to trick myself into getting into shape somehow, and this is certainly better than nothing.


The release calendar doldrums continues, so much so that even the shitty games in my GameFly queue are mostly unavailable. I tried Wheelman last weekend, and gave up a few hours in; the game is actually better than I was expecting, but the missions are really repetitive, ridiculous, and agonizingly long. I got stuck on a mission that still hadn’t ended after 30 minutes of driving around and fending off endless hordes of henchmen, and decided to pack it in. Last night I tried out Ninja Blade, which I rented only because I’d heard that the Achievements were pretty easy to come by; beyond that, it is exactly as dumb as I’d prepared myself for.

The next big game on my want-list is Codemaster’s upcoming driving game Fuel, but the total lack of PR up to this point makes me a little nervous…

Author: Jeremy Voss

Musician, wanna-be writer, suburban husband and father. I'll occasionally tweet from @couchshouts. You can find me on XBL, PSN and Steam as JervoNYC.

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