First thing’s first: I bought one of those new iPads, and a keyboard to go with it, so now I can use my personal email again during daylight hours without having to type with my thumbs, which is a thing that I hate. I can also write here, too, without too much concern over my job monitoring my internet usage. I can even sorta get back into social media, which I have mixed feelings about.
Does that mean that I’ll write here more often? Who knows?
I’ve been in a rough way for the last month or so, and as I tend to do during these periods, I’ve been turning inward. There’s been some personal things going on, and while they’re mostly resolved at this point, I’m still trying to get a grip on things. I’m also still adjusting to some slight changes in my medication; mostly I’m just feeling exhausted, and while some of that is the medication, some of it is just being a parent, and quite a lot of it is the news.
Have you watched the news lately?
Re: the news – look, I try REALLY hard to keep my social media feeds as non-political as I can. If you’re reading this and disagree, then at the very least you should know that I still bottle up at least 95% of my news-related thoughts, so the stuff that does make it out is because if I don’t write something my head will explode. I really do try to be sensitive about this stuff. My various social media feeds are almost entirely political, because it would appear that I’m not the only one losing my mind.
Look: I know I’ve said this before but it bears repeating that we are in a super-strange period of time right now, and it’s only going to get more and more fucked up between now and next November – and that’s assuming that we as a country (and, indeed, as a planet) actually make it to next November without completely falling apart.
[And since we’re on the topic, here’s my take on it. 45 is going to continue to act deranged and psychotic because nobody that he listens to (i.e., (Fox News, Mitch McConnell, his cabinet, Rudy, etc.) is going to tell him to shut up. He’s no longer committing crimes behind closed doors; he’s openly asking China to help him get dirt on the Biden family from the White House lawn. And he’s going to continue to act recklessly because as long as he’s President, he can’t be indicted or arrested or anything. So let’s get real here: there will not be a peaceful transition of power if he loses next November. (This, of course, assumes that next November’s elections will be on the up-and-up, which is a dangerous assumption to make.) It’s going to get much worse before it gets better, if it ever does get better.]
Now, more than ever, it is imperative on us to be kind to each other. I know I have some friendships that have been in a weird sort of limbo for a while now, because I’ve been so inward-facing for so long that I’ve kinda forgotten how to reach out. (And, also, there’s been a lot of self-directed depression-inducing issues that make me feel like I shouldn’t reach out, that me reaching out would do more harm than good.) I’m working through that stuff, and I have no right to ask you to be patient with me. I mean, we’re all going through some stuff, I get it.
Anyway. I’m alive and I love you and I’m trying to get better.
Media consumption continues, as per usual. Still reading like crazy, still having trouble staying invested in the games I’m trying to play. Fully caught up on The Good Place, which I should’ve been watching already. I feel less and less motivated to write about this stuff, though, because… who cares? I’m not sure I still care. I have this blog because I’ve had a blog in some form for almost 20 years, and not having a blog makes me feel like I’m missing an arm or something. But I’m having trouble feeling like it’s as necessary as it used to.
I’ll try, though, if for no other reason that the need to justify the iPad purchase.
Thanks for your patience.